Sunday, November 15, 2009

Here is a list of places to take a hot date to show them you really think they are hot

A cemetery at night, without flashlights, so the two of you can trample the dead and show them you are better off
A thick forest at night, without flashlights, so the two of you can carve your own chaotic track
An abandoned warehouse at night, without flashlights, so the two of you can stumble over inconsequential machines and merchandise
A zoo at night, with flashlights, so the two of you can see the dark reflections in scared animal eyes
The sun, so the two of you can attempt to grasp the enabler of life, and not survive
A black hole, so the two of you can experience existence with no expectations
A park, so the two of you can slide down slides, especially the spiral kind
A museum at night, with candles, so the two of you can find a dinosaur's ribcage and wine and dine inside extinction
A prison at night, with flashlights, so the two of you can chloroform the guards, release the prisoners, dropkick the circuit breakers, and run like hell
A stranger's funeral, so the two of you can engage in some good ol' schadenfreude, and stop for ice cream on the way home
An unharvested field of corn at night, without flashlights, so the two of you can uproot living things without hearing them scream
A cool Japanese hibachi grill restaurant where the cooks cook and put on a show right in front of you, so the two of you can slyly throw dead bumble bees at the cooks
A school for midwifery at night, with flashlights, so the two of you can wake those bitches up
A candy factory, for obvious reasons
Your bedroom, for obvious reasons
An old folks home, to deliver S&M gear
A date rape drug manufacturing plant, so the two of you can feed the pills to the workers and arrange their limp bodies in sexual positions, so they can all have a hearty laugh when they wake up
A swan paddle boat ride at night, with flashlights, on a city street
A hill that overlooks the valley of Armageddon, so the two of you can throw unlit fireworks into it

1 comment:

  1. i like the progression from sun to black hole to park, and the hibachi restaurant, and the DateRapeCo

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