Here are some questions that we can all shoot a gun at

I once read (and am now twisting into my own claim) that the job of the poet is to transcend the logical use of language. In most other contexts, the goal of language is to share information with as little ambiguity as possible. But poets are often purposely ambiguous. It is more expressive that way, as you can try to incorporate more shit into what you are saying.

For example. Metaphors. Your asshole is a flaming bag of dog shit. The information you wanted to share is "the egress of my digestive system feels uncomfortable," but rather than talking like an idiot with a cork blocking the heart from the respiratory system, you compared it to something different. This means when someone reads it, they are not just responding to one thing. They are responding to assholes, fire, dogs, shit, the act of leaving a flaming bag of dog shit on someone's porch, and the intensely hoped-for stomping of the bag. By saying one thing, you can say a lot of things.

I have had numerous conversations with people who are frustrated by the fact that poetry is ambiguous. I argue that this is typically the goal, so you should not try to read it as if the language is trying to be only logical. You shouldn't try to read it literally and understand the point, as if the poet hid a moral inside the poem. This can sometimes be the case, but more often, you will enjoy a good poem not because it makes you think something, but because it makes you feel something.

That being said, here are some questions. These are in the context of poetry and I guess flash fiction/prose poetry. Answer some or all. Whatever.

1) Do you like to write ambiguously and why or why not?

8) Do you like to write logically and why or why not?

116) Assuming your answer could be premeditated, and you had huge balls, what would you say to someone who interrupted you during a poetry reading and said, "that doesn't make any sense"

&) Why do many people not "get" poetry?

F5) When is using logical language in poetry a good idea?

Caps Lock) When is using ambiguous or figurative language in poetry a good idea?

Dog) How many different dogs have you petted in the last week?

shaun and i just wrote a poem

here is how to read the poem.



and a response from shaun

Chris Newgent got a thing published

So Chris Newgent got a thing published. The thing is a short story on Everyday Genius. It's a nice thing and can be found here.

He's a Ball State alum living in Indianapolis, if that's something you want to know.

Good job, Chris.

Here is a list of things to do in front of indifferent house cats

This blog is leaning toward a thing where we talk about writing so I'm going to write a list and then talk about how I wrote the list. (here's an early hint: makin' jokes)


Here is a list of things to do in front of indifferent house cats

Get naked, rapidly
Scream while pointing at your crotch
Beat box
Call that one guy who said you should call him back about that job
Leave a shitty rambling voicemail message for the job guy
Curse at yourself and the job guy
Swallow an unopened beer bottle
Rub goldfish crackers in your eyes
Stretch a fat broccoli rubber band around your neck and yell "I am not important"
Repeat as necessary until you get a job


So there's the thing. Now, here is a line-by-line analysis of how I wrote it.

Get naked, rapidly:

This is a funny thing to do, cuz cats don't care.

Scream while pointing at your crotch:

This is an even funnier thing to do cuz cats don't know how strange it is.

Beat box:

This is also funny cuz cats don't give a fuck about beat boxing.

Call that one guy who said you should call him back about that job:

Again, this is funny because cats don't know what jobs are, or what it is like to be a human searching for a career, which, by the way, is one of the worst things to have to do.

Leave a shitty rambling voicemail message for the job guy:

Funny because it elaborates on what it is like for a human to try to sound "professional," which cats could not care less about, because it doesn't pertain to cat food or getting massaged.

Curse at yourself and the job guy:

It's funny to juxtapose the human feeling of rage at the thought of being inferior to all of the competition in the job market, with a cat's blatant indifference.

Swallow an unopened beer bottle:

This would just be a crazy activity, and a cat would maybe even get a little bit spooked. That's how crazy it would be. A cat possibly getting spooked is funny.

Rub goldfish crackers in your eyes:

Cats don't understand melodrama, so it would be funny.

Stretch a fat broccoli rubber band around your neck and yell "I am not important":

Elaboration on the melodrama. Once again, cats don't give a fuck, so it's funny. This line is also about self-awareness, which cats don't have, so it would be hilarious to mention something pertaining to self-awareness in front of a thing that could not care less.

Repeat as necessary until you get a job:

This last line leaves the list "ambiguous" and leaves it open for future lists, so it is mysterious and cool and all that. There's another level of humor because a cat would not remember the other items in this list if you did them, so you could do the same exact thing and the cat would be like "whatever" and "gimme food" but you'd be getting naked rapidly all over again and ignoring its desires, cuz fuck things that don't care.

brown mfa

a link to the brown mfa blog was posted on htmlgiant yesterday. i read through the whole thing, accomplishing less than i wanted to accomplish before seeing the link. i laughed many times.

Here is a good short story by brian evenson

It's called Windeye.

fffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Look at this fucking book review snippet for James Tate's "Worshipful Company of Fletchers: Poems."

"These new poems . . . deliver the typical Tate-esque trope de grace to all sanctimonious poses and stodgy cogitation, all verdigris-encrusted mental statuary."

Carolyne Wright what the fuck is your problem. nobody talks like this. if you're always writing like this you do not deserve that national book award you won in 1994. i am rarely this disgusted with the literary world.

We need to take back the book review. blake butler knows what the fuck i'm talking about. i will quote him from htmlgiant's mean week right n-

"Things to not say in blurbs or reviews so as to not sound like a tool: tour de force, startling, bad adverb + adjectives like furiously alive or wildly inventive or utterly involving, triumphant, [last name] swings for the fences, like [blank] on crack, like [blank] on LSD, romp, rollicking, breathless, a unique voice, poignant, sexy (horny is OK), well-wrought, death rattle, tongue fart doublespeak like dizzyingly-high-concept debut of genuine originality, any reference to Dada or surrealism, any employment of the phrase experimental, neo-anything, any vague or direct use of the phrase meditation such as resonant meditations, “[last name] really sings,” cautionary tale, anything about Kafka or Carver or Bukowski, any reconjuring of the phrase reminds us what it is to be human…"

ow. if people can't fucking wrap their minds around the two fucking sentences you applied to a book, how do you think that's going to make them want to buy anything you like? THIS IS AMERICA SO SPEAK AMERICAN. we're going to start talking about how words are badass and books are compilations of badass and poets fuck shit up with badass shitfuckers. we need to take our opinions about poetry and blast people in the face with some kind of word shotgun. no more of this faux-intellectual bullshit. no more of the word faux. like i said SPEAK AMERICAN. if i don't start seeing shit that actually makes me want to buy a book instead of throw up, i will start breaking things, expensive things, things that you like. WHOSE STREETS OUR STREETS